vanella ilusion: July 2011

Sunday, July 31, 2011

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Looking Grim

Better than… acting

As if you know the truth

Like life you’re attacking

But do you follow through

Or are you snacking

Leaving it to your stunt crew

Better than… showing

The whole damn world

Where we’re going

What’s the word?

Death

Cheated but defeated?

Blind and deaf

Yet we all meet it

Better than… knowing

Tricks are for kids

But we’re growing

Too big

Bigger you think

Than what’s to come

Kool-Aid to drink

Or you run

Better than… towing

Wisdom and knowledge

Where you going

For me it wasn’t college

Call me confused and lost

If you’re not going to die

Why carry the cross

Jigsaw’s my guy

Better than… lacking

The cure

Success is tapping

But I learned

What’s happening

And so I’ll burn

Because it’s more than a look

It’s me

That cooks

And I see

But was not shook

At what has to be

A blessing and a sin

My brother’s keeper

Better than… looking grim

A look at the Grim Reaper

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Full Mouth… On An Empty Stomach

A word too many

The tragedy

Of calories

No longer so sweet

Lacking

Guts

And no nuts

Having lost my fangs

The pain

My inane

Blather

Sustenance

Hunting

For nothing

Medicinal curses

Venom

Shred them

My insides

But there’s nothing

As I pray to the porcelain god

Reflecting back my mess

Gasp

Sigh

Why can’t I die?

Close this gate

Holding back

What I need to say

And I don’t lie

Except…

In silence

When it’s my time

But I don’t wonder why

There’s peace

Because my mouth is full

And my stomach’s empty

At my enemy’s table

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Behind The Line

The minute, hour, and second hand
Me beside the past and the future can
And will remain
Exactly same
I jump absurdity
Into eternity

The velvet rope and the bouncers’ nope
Kill what’s left of hope
Call it love or lust
Me and you, no us

I jump, assail
My way into Hell

Electronic impulses find my mind
Empty and blind
Ricochet
Not one more day

I jump, the sight
In the darkness is the light

Read between the lines
And you’ll find
These words
A mistake for you girl

I jump and descend
Into madness again

Be it Heaven’s Light
Or Hell’s Right
Maybe nothing
I’m jumping

I jump God divine
To something that is mine

Maybe the grass is greener
The girls are sweeter
Heaven’s lighter
Or Hell is brighter
Than they say
So I go my own way

Flying or falling
Dying or calling
In a favor
On life I gave up
Let me sign
And jump behind the line

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 116 ~Behind The Line~

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Hey Lady Lu...

I didn’t mean to sound so suicidal today; tale as old at time with head, heart, soul and these hands competing and after all we’re here “My City of Ruins”. If anything it feels as though I’m in a rush, you know like everyone is waiting for me and we both know what they’re waiting for me to do.

It’s no secret how lonely I have been, hell I posted a poem on Facebook just hoping someone would take notice; isn’t that what it’s always been about? Friday I worked so long and hard on you know what and nobody gave a damn; little head in conjunction with the big head Luna. Speaking of lonely I can’t stop thinking about them, Chrissy and Susan; stay behind the line right but with each passing day I just want to get closer.

The Abomination has come back; he was gone for a few days and I can’t tell you how I wish, I hoped, and I prayed that he had died; I even had a dream of telling people on Facebook about his demise. Meanwhile war is back on between me and mother, she just talked to me today about Braxton, again Luna I’m suppose to stay in line. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep everyone waiting; if I could make it easy on myself I’d die tonight.

I know this hasn’t been one of my best lessons but like I said I’m rushed but as for what I have learned today… if I get pulled any which way I’ll fall into oncoming traffic but does than mean I should stay on the sidewalk or walk the line? I’m going to jump Luna and as for my final thought, what’s the rush… everything Behind The Line.

LATE

~Behind The Line~

The minute, hour, and second hand
Me beside the past and the future can
And will remain
Exactly same
I jump absurdity
Into eternity

The velvet rope and the bouncers’ nope
Kill what’s left of hope
Call it love or lust
Me and you, no us

I jump, assail
My way into Hell

Electronic impulses find my mind
Empty and blind
Ricochet
Not one more day

I jump, the sight
In the darkness is the light

Read between the lines
And you’ll find
These words
A mistake for you girl

I jump and descend
Into madness again

Be it Heaven’s Light
Or Hell’s Right
Maybe nothing
I’m jumping

I jump God divine
To something that is mine

Maybe the grass is greener
The girls are sweeter
Heaven’s lighter
Or Hell is brighter
Than they say
So I go my own way

Flying or falling
Dying or calling
In a favor
On life I gave up
Let me sign
And jump behind the line

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

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