Hey Lady Lu...
No these are not the lights of Heaven, the lights of some paradise, or me lighting up the darkness… if that is what I’m trying to do with my “Redemption Song”, it’s only another horrible day; the real monsters are out. Today’s lesson I call Haunting Hours because I’m going to talk about when I am haunted and unlike today’s victim Kallen Stadtfeld, my fears are not lost in the darkness but in the light of day.Luna why is it that people fear the darkness, for me it seems somewhat irrational because it’s not seeing it that hurts you but feeling it; I have plenty of time to be afraid when I see The Abomination. I suppose the same is true of love, I can imagine beautiful girls all night long but when I see them in the day and I feel what I do, that’s when I get into trouble. See there is nothing in the darkness, but when it comes to girls, I can’t touch them, they pass right by me, and yes they haunt me.
Take today’s victim Kallen, it is not the darkness that is her enemy, it’s what you can see happening in the light of day. Why do people fear something that is so natural; whether we want it to or not the darkness always falls; we can only hope when it does so that we are, as unknown to whatever we fear in the dark. How often is it, that someone is killed by something that is trapped in blackness; I’m not saying it doesn’t happen Luna but they have to have some light don’t they, someway of knowing.
I find myself most of the time like Kallen… I mean not seeing and I actually prefer it that way because even if I could see what was about to happen to me really, could I stop it? The haunting hours are when it’s there Luna, the monster ripping your heart out, sucking away your spirit, or cumming in your face like the beautiful Kallen here.
Okay Luna I’ll admit I wasn’t as smart as I would like to be but like I said Haunting Hours and it’s been awhile since we talked last. The nights, the dark, and me dead, this is the dream but being here awake and existing, how I hate it so.
Again my lovely Luna there is nothing I fear in the darkness, no I take that back if there is something to fear in the darkness it is the knowledge of the light of day. I say there is nothing in the darkness, I suppose what I mean is there is nothing bad in the darkness unless you let it be. I guess I owe the world a huge thank you, you know I never have nightmares because all the horrors lie when I’m awake.
You know something I like that “horrors lie” The Abomination, “Beautiful Girls”, hell even the very things I want to believe in, their all liars. I talk about monsters, ghosts, and terrors, you see they try to blind me with the light, maybe like that movie the “Blindness” and I’m like Julianne Moore unable or maybe unwilling “to take arms against a sea of troubles”, as they lie in wait for me. Finally it could be me that lies, never thought of that huh Luna and you would never say I do but maybe you just did or could I mean I lie here and let them take me.
So what have I learned today… besides my journaling could use some work, well to light up the darkness, hold up the light, and all that but to never allow myself to become so blind to the light that I fear it as others fear darkness? For my final thought Luna even Hell has fire and that means there is light in the darkness; such are my Haunting Hours.
LATE
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